Why do I hate Shane Battier? Let me count the ways...
The article, Miami Has a King, They Don't Need a Prince, provided the numbers and explanation of why the Miami HEAT don't need to sign a free agent small forward, but HEAT fans keep getting bombarded with rumors about the team signing Shane Battier.
It drives me crazy because I HATE Battier. Here are a few reasons why HEAT fans should hate Battier, too...
- He played for Duke. Since the second-greatest player in HEAT history played for Georgetown and was eliminated by Duke in the NCAA tournament his freshman year, HEAT fans should have no love for the Blue Devils. I don't care how much Nick and Micky Arison love Duke. Only fake ass fans side with owners over players.
- He's overrated. Articles like the New York Times' piece, "No Stats All-Star", written by "Moneyball" author Michael Lewis made Battier appear to be better than he really is because his plus-minus numbers are so good. The problem is that plus-minus is a piece of shit stat used by hustlers from Harvard to get high-paying jobs in the NBA. See the article Adjusted Plus-Minus: Hustling Outside the Box Score, for a more detailed explanation.
- HEAT don't need his defense. When Battier was the starter in Houston before the All-Star break last season, the Rockets allowed opponents' small forwards to score 22 points per game with 50% shooting efficiency. Overall, the Rockets' small forward defense led by Battier allowed opponents to produce a 7.6 Win Score. The HEAT allowed opponents' small forwards to score 18.9 points per game with 47% shooting efficiency. Overall, the HEAT small forward defense led by LeBron James allowed opponents to produce a 6.1 Win Score. The HEAT defense was 125% better without Battier.
- He flops. If you love floppers, then you're a fake ass fan. Yes, that means Duke fans are fake ass fans since Battier's been flopping since college.
- HEAT don't need his three-point shooting. James Jones made 43% of his three-pointers last season. Shane Battier only made 38% of his.
- HEAT don't need his rebounding. Mike Miller averaged 7.9 rebounds per 36 minutes last season. Shane Battier averaged 5.7 rebounds per 36 minutes.
- He's old. At 33, Battier's two years older than Jones and Miller. Sports economist David Berri ilustrated in his book Stumbling On Wins how quickly players that age decline.