Saturday, April 28, 2012

Week 1 Fanalyst Rankings for the Eastern Conference Playoffs

Fans have already predicted how the playoffs will end before they even start, but fanalysts know the post-season is a two month grind so the Playoff Fanalyst Rankings analyze the East playoff matchups one week at a time.

There are two sides to every NBA Power Ranking: the Fanalytical and the Fanatical. As a Miami HEAT blogger living on the east coast, MHI plays the fanalyst for the Eastern Conference Playoffs. As a Denver Nuggets fan living west of the Mississippi River, the NBA Mistress plays the fan and provides the slander. The roles are reversed for the Western Conference Playoffs.

1. Miami HEAT

MHI: The HEAT will have a 3-0 series lead over the New York Knicks after the first week of the playoffs and all 3 games will be won by double-digits. The Heat have the advantage at four positions: PG, SG, SF and PF. As long as Mario Chalmers and Chris Bosh make sure it stays that way, the HEAT will hit Gotham like that summer from Do The Right Thing in Game 3. RADIOOOOOOO!!!

NBA Mistress: BLAH BLAH BLAH. Heat will win. BLAH BLAH BLAH

2. Chicago Bulls

MHI: The Bulls will have to fight the Philadelphia 76ers every step of the way to bang out a 3-0 series lead in the first week of the playoffs. How close those games are will be dictated by how well Derrick Rose handles bigger defenders and how quickly Tom Thibodeau adapts if Rose can’t get the job done.

NBA Mistress: Bulls = Zzzzzzzzzz

3. Indiana Pacers

MHI: The Pacers won’t lose a game in the first week of the playoffs but nobody will be impressed. Paul George and Roy Hibbert should dominate. If you’re a casual fan and know who they are, then you’re probably more of a die-hard than you think.

NBA Mistress: Indiana, another team that puts me to sleep.

4. Boston Celtics

MHI: The Celtics didn’t give a fuck about home-court advantage and they won’t have to after the first week of the playoffs, either. Kevin Garnett and Brandon Bass will do damage on the perimeter and the glass to take a 2-1 lead into Game 4 at the TD Garden.

NBA Mistress: Even with Ray Allen out, Celtics will surprise many when they make a playoff run.

5. Atlanta Hawks

MHI: I picked the Hawks to upset the Celtics in the Playoffs Preview HEATcast because they performed like the better team over the entire season, but they will have to do something they’re not known for to advance to the 2nd round. Josh Smith and Joe Johnson will have to play unselfish and smart on offense and tough on defense to come back from a 1-2 deficit against the Celtics.

NBA Mistress: Hawks, Schmawks.

6. Philadelphia 76ers

The Sixers are this year’s version of last year’s Indiana Pacers in the playoffs. Andre Iguodala and Evan Turner will play tough defense to give Rose and the Bulls trouble, but they just don’t have enough talent to turn close games into wins against the number 1 seed in the East, no matter what Turner said before the playoffs started.

NBA Mistress: Sixers should have just tanked. Harder.

7. New York Knicks

MHI: The Knicks will only go as far as JR Smith and Steve Novak’s three-point shooting can take them. The dead weight of Baron Davis and Amare Stoudemire will prevent them from going very far in the first week of the playoffs.

NBA Mistress: If they can make their three's, then it will be open season. 

8. Orlando Magic

MHI: JJ Redick and Quentin Richardson’s shooting will be able to steal a win from the Pacers but it won’t be during the first week of the playoffs.

NBA Mistress: Orlando = zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *wakes up* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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