Sunday, May 20, 2012

Week 4 NBA Playoffs Fanalyst Rankings: Home-Court Advantage

This week's Fanalyst Rankings analyze the impact of home-court advantage in the Eastern Conference Semifinals after all four teams won on the road last week.

There are two sides to every NBA Power Ranking: the Fanalytical and the Fanatical. As a Miami HEAT blogger living on the east coast, MHI plays the fanalyst for the Eastern Conference Playoff games through Saturday, May 20th. As a Denver Nuggets fan living west of the Mississippi River, the NBA Mistress plays the fan and provides the slander. The roles are reversed for the Western Conference Playoffs.

1. Miami HEAT (5-3, Last week #1)

MHI: The loss of Chris Bosh means that Mario Chalmers, Mike Miller and Udonis Haslem must consistently outplay George Hill, Darren Collison, David West and Tyler Hansbrough for the rest of the series. They'll need help from their home-court advantage, but the HEAT will get the production they need to beat the Pacers in Game 7.

NBA Mistress: MIAMI HEAT IS YOUR NUMBER ONE??! YOU REALIZE THEY LOST 2 CONSECUTIVE GAMES TO THE FREAKING PACERS?! Are you HIGH?! Your, BOY, D-Wade scored 2-for-13? 5 FUCKING points in a playoff game and you have the nerve to put them FIRST?! Have you been hitting the HENNY hard? Did you let a Bron STAN do these rankings?? Give Lance Stephenson a medal of freaking honor for his choking symbol, because the Heat are CH-CH-CH-CH-CHOKING! Who knew Bosh was the MVP? Remember what I told you after Game 1?? MIAMI WOULD LOOOOSSSSEEEEE! "I'm a loser baby, why don't you kill me" -Miami Heat's Round 2 theme song.

2. Boston Celtics (6-4, Last week #2)

MHI: When the Celtics offense works, they seem to go on amazing runs and blow the 76ers off the floor. More often than not, however, the Celtics offense doesn't work and that's why they'll need 7 games to eliminate the 76ers.

NBA Mistress: There must be a KG hologram on the floor, because Garnett is playing outta his mind. However, too bad the Celtics gifted Game 4 to the Sixers. The BLOODY Sixers who were shooting 19% from the field in the first quart of Game 1. PATHETIC!

3. Indiana Pacers (6-3, Last week #4)

MHI: The Pacers have the best efficiency differential in the Eastern Conference playoffs, but they're some lucky assholes. They build the confidence to talk shit by beating teams playing without their injured centers. Their luck will run out in Game 7 at American Airlines Arena this week but they'll still be assholes afterwards.

NBA Mistress: HOW SWEET!! You put the Pacers at third, when clearly they ARE out-working the Miami Heat. How's the Big 3 anyways?

4. Philadelphia 76ers (6-4, Last week #3)

MHI: The 76ers played to their potential last week, but their poor shooting and home-court advantage will beat them this week in Game 7.

NBA Mistress: Wake me up when the Sixers fans don't boo their own people. On the side note, at least there's that rotund Sixers' fan to remember...

5. Atlanta Hawks (2-4)


6. Chicago Bulls (2-4)


7. New York Knicks (1-4)


8. Orlando Magic (1-4)


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